Thursday, March 15, 2012

Just a start

So, this is really ONLY a starting point. I still need to make it sound more Shakespeare-like and I need to check iambic pentameter, rhythm, etc. But here's my first draft of a scene:


Ariel: Well met young Puck. I feel we have much in common. Come, away with us my boy. Our first feat will be to tamper with the affairs of those hapless creatures in the local village.
Puck: And what shall we do there master?
Ariel: Why, I generally leave that up to how I feel in the moment. I give myself a lot of room to work in.
Puck: Such as?
Ariel: Sometimes I hide their clothes. At other times, I get them to fall asleep and I move them somewhere else. And sometimes I change their appearance and watch the reactions of those around them.
Puck: Aye, that sounds gloriously entertaining!
Ariel: On then, young lad. Let us get to it.

Ariel: Well, here we are young lad. Does anything catch your eye?
Puck: Hmmm. I suppose that the young lass over there looks like she could use some more cheer in her day.
Ariel: That would be a dog. They aren’t as much fun to tease as humans. I can tell this is your first time.
Puck: Ok, so a human then. How about that foolish looking lad. He looks like he’d be easy enough.
Ariel: Fine then. What sort of trickery do you see in store for him?
Puck: Hmmm. He does seem to be a bit of an idiot. Perhaps we should get him to follow us somewhere?

And then I'll have them do something. So, I know it needs a lot of editing, and I'll do that very soon. Content-wise though, what do you guys think? I know that the writing is terrible and I really need to flesh out some 3D characters for it, but do you all have any thoughts as to what Shakespeare would do for that or how he would really make it come alive now? 

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